The Coward’s Revenge

Caught a lite sneeze, dreamed a little dream, made my own pretty hate machine.” – Tori Amos

If you’re a baseball fan, you hate the Yankees.  Unless, of course, you’re a Yankee fan, in which case you have some issues that require the assistance of a mental health professional.

It’s a long standing tradition, this Yankee hatred. The kind that imbues multiple generations and may, in fact, be necessary for the sustentation of life itself.

It’s like the tiny corner coffee shop hating Starbucks.  Sure, you can hire bikini barristas, but the pomp and circumstance (and desperation) just doesn’t compare to the inherent sexiness of the coffee shop that all coffee shops want to be.

All baseball fans want to win, so winning begets hate. One team’s win is another team’s loss. And at the end of baseball season there is 1 winner amongst 29 losers. And the winning team, ostensibly has a better chance at free agents and improvement due to increased revenue. More winning for them, more losing for other teams, and blah blah blah.

It’s like in order for a team to win, other teams must experience dismal defeat and downfall. You can’t win because you win, you win because someone else fails.

So much negativity must be bad for the soul. It’s like the opposite of the power of prayer. Maybe if Mariner fans could spew enough vitriol into the universe against the other teams in the AL, we’d be in the World Series instead of the Rangers.

But we’re not. And I haven’t exactly be helping the cause since I just can’t seem to generate one cold-hearted thought toward Arlington’s Boys of (Never Ending) Summer.

I genuinely like the team.  I love Adrian Beltre. It’s awesome to see Nolan Ryan as an involved owner. I have family I’m quite fond of in Texas. I just don’t get the requisite abhorrence to be considered a “real” Mariner fan by certain segments of the fan base.

After all, the Mariners did not lose because the Rangers won. Maybe when the Mariners finally do climb out of the AL West basement and play meaningful games in September, when the  Rangers success will directly be a result of Mariner failure, I’ll be able to breathe some fire toward the Southwest.

Then again, this is the team that paid ridiculous money to Alex Rodriguez. And really, living with THAT is punishment enough.


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